Psychology at Home and at Work-Need Your Help
Psychology is such an interesting subject, trying to figure out how to work best with your co-workers, family members, how to get ahead, stay out of trouble, have fun, and survive the day to day traumas of the "real world".
Well, yesterday I was trying to figure out how to deal with a co-worker who portrays themselves as a victim to get what they want. I started researching stuff about victims, but had a hard time finding out how to stop someone from playing that victim role with you to get sympathy. I finally found something that talked about these people, and that they are really covertly agressive (lots of jargon), and that they prey on the fact that most people don't want to be thought of as hard, unsympathetic, etc.
I guess my issue is why do we have to work so hard at this? Why can't people be straight up and say, "I want to do this my way", and then we could discuss what the other options could be. Why is there so little compromise with some people? Did some people get stuck in the me-centric phase and never get to the point that they can see things from someone else's perspective?
It's all very strange. It's like competition. In most cases, it's not about winning and losing, but some people make it that way, they want to win, at any cost. What about everybody winning.
When my kids were little I was always trying to get them to see the compromise position. Easier said than done. My ex-husband didn't believe in compromise-it was his way or no way. He even told me one time, "Why don't you just agree with me". I told him that if he wanted a "yes" wife he had definitely married the wrong person. (Guess that's why he is my Ex). The bottom line is that we are all in this together, moving towards a common goal of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. If we have to stand on someone's head and push them down into the mud to get there, is that happiness? If we can be happy and make others happy with us, doesn't that compound the happiness?
Well, if anyone has any ideas on how to stop somebody from using the victim role to get their way, I would greatly appreciate your suggestions.
Happy Friday
5 comments:
My recommendation is to kick this person in the groin as hard as you can. It makes it harder to play mind games when they are rolling on the floor.
Just my 2 cents...
Haven't a clue.
I was visiting another blog where they were discussing the role of women in that they used to be expected to act like victims, swooning and "having the vapers" ... think Gone With The Wind.
We've come a long way, but some people still get their way by playing the victim. For them it works. Doesn't make it work - it's still manipulation. It's a Hardwire thing in the brain, I think.
Sorry, can't offer any answers, only give you a little history... assuming your victim-esque co-worker is female ...
.
Hmmm, interesting, I was checking back here and noticed you also got a comment from NYC taxi with just a "dot" for a comment.
I thought it was comment SPAM so I deleted it on my blog. Who would comment with a "dot"?
Apparently, NYC guy. I checked the profile from here and lo! it is a legitamete blog with cool pictures ... dare I say .. from the view inside a taxi?
Who knew?
Yes, it is a female, and luckily for me she will be out of the office for two months, so maybe between now and then I can figure it out. Thanks for the history, and I think you are right, it is probably something she has done for a lifetime, or since her degree is in social work, something she learned about and then adopted.
Post a Comment