In Memory of Michael

One truth in life is that Parents shouldn't outlive their children. You can't watch them grow from tiny babies, to toddlers, to tweens, to twenties and then let them go. Even those of us who were on the sidelines, not as biological parents, but as surrogate parents, at least for a time find the pain hard to handle, and it is only a small fraction of the pain that is felt.

One such surrogate child of mine died two weeks ago. I only found out recently, because I am sure his dad had a horrendously hard time saying those words over and over to the many friends that had been part of Michael's short 20 years. Michael as one news article said, "died doing what he enjoyed best". He was out hiking when he slipped, fell and didn't make it back. I knew him in those formative years, from around eight-twelve. We watched TV together, cross-country skied, played games, jumped on the trampoline, and he and my younger children ran all over that wonderful country home where Michael grew up. There were elk, deer, turkeys, bears, and streams and ponds for fishing. There was a big old barn to explore, and a hot tub for hanging out.

Over the years, we had less time to go and visit, and then,we moved back east, and we lost touch with Michael and his family. I will always remember Michael the way he was then, tow-headed, always reading, in love with the computer, and a very sweet and caring kid.

Thanks for the great memories, and being my surrogate son, if only for a while. You will be missed.

I found this song, by the Celtic Women to be especially appropriate for the occasion

"When the light begins to fade,
And shadows fall across the sea,
One bright star in the evening sky,
Your love’s light leads me on my way.

There’s a dream that will not sleep,
A burning hope that will not die,
So I must go now with the wind,
And leave you waiting on the tide.

Time to fly, time to touch the sky.
One voice alone - a haunting cry.
One song, one star burning bright,
Let it carry me through darkest night.

Rain comes over the grey hills,
And on the air, a soft goodbye.
Hear the song that I sing to you,
When the time has come to fly.

When I leave and take the wing,
And find the land that fate will bring,
The brightest star in the evening sky,
Is your love waiting far for me."
- Celtic Woman